sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
