I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
