I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
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