Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
