Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize
