Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
