i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Randomize
