Got a toothbrush?
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
