You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Randomize
