Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
