can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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