plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
