she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
