Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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