there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
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