if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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