he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
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