Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
