I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
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