'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
