he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
