My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
