My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Randomize
