It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Randomize
