I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
