I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
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