I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
