She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
