Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
