my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
