im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
