I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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