dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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