God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
