When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
