I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
