She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Randomize
