he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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