We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
