thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
