Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
