there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
