oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Randomize
