yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
