pedialite and red bull = repair kit
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
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