Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
