I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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