Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
