forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
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