This girl is more easily done than said...
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
