i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
